"Okay Zydrunas, here's the gameplan, go stand over there under the hoop.. You know hoop?"

"Think so… I try get hookshot?"

"What?! Hell no, pass that shit to Lebron"

"Coach! We're down but I think we can still win! I'd like to take the last shot, can you set up a play?"

"Sasha, I'm gonna level with you… I'm not really an X's and O's kind of guy. Just pass that shit to Lebron"

"I don't give a damn if you scored West, what do you think you're doing upstaging me in front of the other players? I set a play!"

"What play? You just said to pass it to Lebron"

"I'm sorry am I talking to the coach of the year?! That's what I thought. Now get your ass on the bench West!"

"Shit's easy…"

Move over Chauncey Billups! There's a new candidate for the sportsmanship award this year!

"Come on guys, don't look at me like that! I just fell down some stairs!"

"Oh, he just gets pumped up during the game, you know. When its just us he's totally different. Are the cameras still rolling?"

Darius Miles was busted this week for ignoring details like turn signals.

Miles, was confused on who placed the weed in his passenger compartment, and why it was there instead of a non-suspended license. Authorities were just as perplexed as Miles, and 100 dollars later, he was a free man! Miles still counts against the Portland Trailblazers cap, and has declared Greg Oden a bust.

Pictured Below: The Miles Mobile

My latest parody based on yesterday's Magic/Celtics playoff game and the legendary Chappelle Show Skit!

The New Orleans Hornets have put an end to rumors they'll make the second round next season. After a record 58 point loss on their home floor, only one thing was certain, an extension to Coach Byron Scott.

"The man is a coaching wizard! If it wasn't for Scott it would have easily been 70 or 80 points" said Scott's wife.