My latest NBA video parody 24: Lebron shows what really happened behind the scenes! Jack Bauer investigates.

Glenn Beck having a peaceful discussion with one of his many fans.

"Richard Jefferson: Runaway Bride"

"Hey Richard, I just wanted to wish you luck at the wedding tomorrow"

"LUKE!! IT'S REALLY YOU!! I don't know what to say.."

"Don't say anything Richard, that's all in the past"

"What's in the past baby"

"STFU Kesha, Luke is talking"

"So dreammyyy"

"What??"

"BYE LUKE!!!"

*Next Day*

"Where is he?! The weddings going to start in half an hour!!"

"Forget about him baby"

"Karl? I thought you said you were going hunting"

"I'm always hunting"

Prada sunglasses, girl jeans, fat. Millions of fatties rejoiced yesterday when Guy Trebay of the New York Times announced the latest new fad. The sumo look. Guy has done much research regarding the matter, and maintains 'hipsters' are purposely gaining weight because President Obama is in shape.

“If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,”

That's right stick it to the man! Sure rebelling in the 60s was about music and sex. But we've evolved past that, now its about Twinkies, texting, and finding ways to not get laid. It's kind of like Woodstock, if Woodstock totally sucked.

“I sort of think the six-pack abs obsession got so prissy it stopped being masculine”- Aaron Hicklin.

The key to masculinity:

You may notice the lack of females, food supply was short.

Fat Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/fashion/13POTBELLY.html

Old people can rest easy tonight, President Obama has made it clear there's no plan to  'pull the plug on granny'. When he was talking about end of life care, he meant extra packs of Depends and new bubble wrap for their furniture.

"Thank goodness you're here officer! Some white guy just broke into my neighbors house!"

"I'll check it out right away Ms"

"Hey Bill I think I hear some knocking on the door"

"Please! You're just trying to distract me! Not gonna work, take your beating like a man"

"No really Bill I think I hear someth-"

"Alright motherf*ckers, I'm gonna need to see some ID"

"Officer, there must be some terrible mistake! This is my home"

"English motherf*cker do you speak it?"

"Wait!! Here's my ID!"

"What the f*ck is that? That ain't no ID"

"But.."

"Hey Hillary, great to see you! When's Bill coming?

"Oh, he should be here soon!"

"First thing's first Mrs. Clinton… Is Bill back there? He must be tired from Korea! What's it like living with a hero? Oh oh what's Bill's favorite dish?!"

"I'm pleased to say Bill is doing an excellent job as secretary"

"Don't you mean Hillary sir?"

"Who?"

"She's the woman sitting next to you Mr. President"

"I'm not too good with names Jim, I'll have to get back to you. But Bill, he's a great guy"

"Hey mom do you know when dad's gonna be back?! Mom.. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Yeah, Mrs. Clinton where's Bill at? We'd love to meet him! Mrs. Clinton?"